Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Ugh, another gift to buy?!

Dear Lara,
What's the proper etiquette for gift giving for second, third, FOURTH babies? I have a list a mile long of baby gifts I need to buy for friends that have recently had babies, but I sometimes find it's getting out of hand when some friends are starting to get up to #4. Love my friends and want to celebrate their new little ones - any suggestions?


Sincerely,
Ugh, another gift to buy?!


Dear Ugh,
I hear you.  Loud and clear.  The gift thing gets to be out of control when it comes to weddings, showers and now... multiple sets of babies.  It's hard because they seem to pile up and then you feel like you can't ever go a week without feeling like you owe somebody a gift.  


I am not suggesting that it best to be an Indian giver but perhaps in situations with multiple babies it's something to consider.  You may have a best friend that you rarely exchange gifts with when a random neighbor is always giving things to your kids.  In those situations I think that it's important to return the favor.  For each gift you have gotten - you should probably return the gesture.  


Now, if you are wanting to set the stage for what and when to give a gift I think you should create your own personal system.  For example, for first babies you give one gift at a shower or when the baby is born.  For each additional baby, I think it's more than enough to either simply send a card or send a small gift such as a book, crib toy, frame, etc.  Also, a great place to find nice inexpensive gifts for babies is TJ Max or Marshalls - I had no idea how much they have for little ones - but it's a great place to start for gifts.  


Not long ago I was out getting a gift for someone.  A girl at the store showed me something I really loved - but it was over the $50 dollar limit I had set in my head for the gift.  I almost purchased the gift when I finally turned to the saleswoman and said, "you know, I just didn't want to spend that much.  Can you show me something closer to the $50 dollar range?"  She said, "of course, it's important to set boundaries - I completely understand."  Setting boundaries, while hard to always do when shopping is so important especially when gift shopping.  This way you never have regrets.  I have purchased too many gifts that I felt were never appropriately appreciated nor reciprocated.  Stay within your own bounds and you will never go wrong when showing generosity to others.  


Best,
Lara






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