Shower Hostess Hoping for the Mostest

Dear Lara -

I am hosting another baby shower for my friend next weekend, and not sure how to make it "super fun" in that she doesn't want games, etc, and is almost embarrassed to open presents in front of people. Are there simple ways I can make this shower more fun? Also, her mother-in-law is flying in from out west - a big deal. Should we do something to say "thanks" for the effort?

Thanks,
"Baby Shower Hostess Hoping for the Mostest"


Dear Hostess with the Mostest,

I think it's great that you want to make this so special for your friend. From what I gather, showers make her feel uncomfortable in that there is a lot of attention focused on her at one time. My suggestion to try to alleviate some of that pressure from her. The more relaxed you are as a host, the more relaxed the guests will be, the family members, etc. You will set the tone for the afternoon and as long as you are comfortable everything else should fall right into place.

If that mom-to-be does not want any games, then do not play them. I think that games can at times feel forced and contrived and it sounds like this mom wants everything and everyone to be natural and comfortable. Similarly, gift-opening can also evoke uncomfortable feelings all around. It's sort of awkward to sit in front of everyone and open gift after gift with a bunch of eyes zoned right in on you. Again, you can take the charge on this and orchestrate everyone to sit down so she can open gifts. Don't make her feel like she needs to do that - she feels strange enough having so many people not only take time out of their day but buying her things as well.

While she is opening gifts, it makes things more comfortable when the people around her are engaged in conversation. Make sure that your chairs are placed close together and provide a warm inviting space for everyone to sit around and chat while mom dives into the packages. I am guessing her belly is a bit cumbersome by now too - so be sure to have a garbage bag for the the wrapping paper close by. It would also make her feel less of a spectacle if she has a close friend or two sitting right near her to pass her gifts and take the wrapping from her. This is crucial. Assign two people who know each other to sit up front and assist mom. That way, she doesn't feel alone and can converse with them without feeling like she's the only one in front.

As for mom-in-law, I suggest that you thank her for coming on your own. I would not draw attention to it - if anyone wants to recognize her for coming from such a distance, it should be her daughter-in-law - not you. Your job as hostess is to thank everyone - I don't think you need to do anything extra or special for her. She obviously wants to be there to share in the special day, and based on the relationship they have, the mom-to-be will make the call on how and when to appropriately thank her.

You sound like a wonderful hostess and great friend to be hosting this special event ~

Happy Showers!
Lara