Facebook Foe

Dear Lara,

Recently a woman I went to highschool with asked to be my friend on Faceboook. She was the angriest and most aggressive person imaginable in highschool: bleached my friend's yard, physically attacked two of my friends, threatened me with chains, I could go on and on... Generally, she seemed to really enjoy terrorizing my group of friends and was totally unstable mentally. I am absolutely not interested in her friendship and have no plan to accept this request.

However, I've discussed it with my friends and feel like I should not simply "ignore," but let her know why. Her photo is of a bland, happy mom with her three kids, but the person I remember was a deranged sociopath with spiky platinum hair, crazy piercings, a dog collar, and black lipstick. Do you recommend I let her know about the lasting impression she has left on her former classmates or do I let it go and simply ignore her?

Sincerely,

Facebook Foe

Dear FB Foe,

The ole' sociopathic Facebook friender, eh? We've all gotten them. Requests to allow past rejects from our old lives back into our present lives. Dangerous stuff. I mean what if this gal still has it out for you, detects where it is you live, and comes after you and your family one day? Yikes. I applaud you for your decision to ignore her request.

In terms of whether you should let her know about her lasting impression I ask you to consider the good that would do. Do you think that your words could possibly force her to reconsider her past and motivate her to make good on all of the bad things she once did? Perhaps provide her with a greater sense of purpose and channel her past poor behaviors into a life of working at soup kitchens and taking in foster pets? Probably not. If she was a jerk back then, chances are she's still a jerk and cares little for your opinion. Now, on the upside chance that she has not only had a physical makeover but also a personality upgrade, I wonder how such a message from you would impact her. It go either way, really. She could feel remorse and express her deep sorrow for hurting you and others in the past, or, it could re-ignite some pent up anger and she could come after you while you sleep. I wouldn't take that gamble - nor would I put those you love in any possible danger. Leave it alone. Ignore the request and move on with your life. Always consider the consequences and if said consequences could result and any unnecessary drama or harm... walk away. Some things are best left unsaid. And most things from high school should really stay back in high school.

Cheers to the High Road,

Lara