Mother of the Bride Color Conundrum

Dear Lara:
My daughter is getting married in July.  I have spent a ton of time looking for a dress and finally found one that looks good on me, but it's black, which I've heard is not appropriate.  The bridesmaids are wearing beautiful short stone dresses. The groomsmen will be in black tuxes. The flowers are ivory and pinks. Champagne and latte colors don't look great on me and I don't want to wear a color which might make me stand out . The groom's mom is wearing taupe.

Would black be appropriate for a July wedding? The reception will be in the evening and in the city.  Please help! 


Sincerely,
Mom of the Bride


Dear Mother of the Bride, 


I applaud you for taking a critical eye to this situation and assessing what would be most appropriate.  Too often mothers and mothers in law fail to spend the time and energy dressing appropriately for such a big occasion.  After all, this milestone is a very large one for you too and you should also be soaking in some of the spotlight.  


You mention several key factors which make black absolutely appropriate.  While it is not the most summery of colors, the wedding is downtown and takes place during the evening.  The colors your daughter chose (which sound so lovely) are also formal and would be perfectly complemented next to black.  Finally, it sounds like this dress looks great on you.  That is most important.  As long as you aren't wearing a color anywhere within the white or off white family (never trump the bride!!) you are just fine.  If you feel great you will be that much more comfortable throughout the night.  


Congratulations to you and the bride to be.  Sounds like a gorgeous and very special night ahead.  I am certain you will look spectacular!  


Oh, and for a little more reinforcement on the matter - I decided to see what Emily Post had to say.  Check out her updated list of wedding rules and regs right here.




Black Dress Approved!
Lara

Returning the Favor

Dear Lara

Last week, we found ourselves in a babysitter jam. I ended up calling a friend who has two grown boys and was more than happy to help. Of course, she would not accept payment on what ended up being a longer evening than expected (my husband ended up working until 9 PM so we ended up getting home at the same time). My husband and I want to do something to thank her. Suggestions?

Sincerely,
Returning the Favor


Dear Returning the Favor,


What a great friend.  These days I don't think people without kids understand just what a big deal it is when others watch our kids.  Be it grandparents, siblings, neighbors, whatever.  It's a huge relief - not only because you trust them - but well, because they're cheap!  Sitters range in pay from 8 dollars an hour (for the young ones) on up to 20 dollars per hour which leaves for a very pricey night out.  We have had some fabulous neighbors, friends and family care for our little one sans pay and here are some things that I have done to repay them.  


~ For the brief afternoon 2 hour sit I have given a friend a Starbucks card for 10-15 dollars.  They LOVED this. 


~ For our amazing neighbors who have spent some evenings up in our place while we get out - we ordered and paid for their dinner.  


~ For parents who have accepted and cared for our child in their home while we go out of town we have gotten a sitter and taken them for dinner.  


I get it.  It's hard to give a friend cash... but gift cards are an easy and thoughtful payback for friends and family.  Everybody goes to Starbucks and Target so those may be some good gift cards to have in bulk and on hand for when you want to pass along a thank you for sitting...or any other favor for that matter.  I also think that treating your friend to lunch or dinner is always a super nice gesture that they cannot refuse... especially when you grab the check before they have a chance ;) Oh, and a nice bottle of wine is usually always a good option as well.  Who doesn't love a little vino?


Lastly, the good ole' thank you note can never be underestimated.  Some of your friends may truly not want you spend any of your hard earned cash on the hand they lent.  Dropping a well thought out thank you note in the mail goes a long way.  People love to get mail that isn't a bill and it surely delivers a message that shows how much their favor meant to you.  


Hope this helps and thanks for returning the favor and furthering good karma for the rest of us!


Cheers,
Lara

Mac Baby

Dear Lara,

My son, who is less than 1 1/2 years old, really likes computers. He is obsessed with our laptop, our cell phones, anything with a screen that lights up. Clearly, I can't let him have at these devices due to fear of breakage, battery eating, etcetera, but I'm wondering if there is anything out there that I can buy him that simulates that screen lighting up bit that he loves so much that I can leave him alone with for more than one minute.

At Home IT Department 


Dear At Home IT,

So funny you should ask, as we are experiencing the same thing with our little one.  He seems particularly drawn to my husband's new iPad which is a big no no as that seems entirely too fragile for his careless little paws.  My husband and I actually said that Apple should come up with an "iBaby" if you will that would provide little ones with a gadget of their own they could play with.  However, there are a couple of things to consider here before we go off and encourage our tots to stand in line at the Apple store.

1.  They want EVERYTHING we have.  If it's your iPhone, Blackberry, laptop, stuffed olive, or shot of whiskey (yes, we typically feast on stuffed olives and whiskey nightly) - they not only want to see it - they want to grab it, eat it, drink it and consume it in every way possible.  Therefore, this could mean that your latest electronic "baby" purchase could very well find its way into the heap of other toys collecting throughout the corners of your home while your little guy continues to eat the keys off your laptop.

2.  Do toddlers really need "gadgets"?  I mean... whatever happened to the old fashioned puzzle, lego and stacking rings?  I'm just as guilty as the next guy when it comes to being on my laptop too much and obsessing over my latest text on the old Blackberry.  I surely do not want my child to start those habits in his under 2 years of existence.  Can you imagine... he'll be texting before he talks!!

3.  I sound old and boring now don't I?  I don't mean to.  I certainly want my son to be far more technically savvy than I am - and he will be without a doubt given what's out there today.  I just want him to be able to create his own fun before he's totally bombarded with gadgets at every turn.   Though I must admit... this laptop seems pretty awesome.

As for some other flashy toys... give this Top Toy List a whirl and see what makes your little guy light up until he's ready for his own mini Mac.

Best,
Lara